Accepting One Another: How Do We Love People Like Jesus When We Disagree?
It is easy to love people who are just like you. But what happens when someone in your life sees things differently, comes from a different background, or simply does not do things the way you do? That is where real Christian acceptance is tested. Romans 15:7 gives us a clear and challenging command: "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."
What Was the Church in Rome Actually Dealing With?
To understand what Paul is saying in Romans 15, it helps to know who he was writing to. The church in Rome was not a room full of people who all looked alike or thought alike. There were Jewish believers who had spent their entire lives following the law of Moses, with deep traditions and convictions about food, special days, and what it meant to be God's people.
Then there were Gentile believers who came from completely different backgrounds. No shared religious history. No common traditions. And yet Jesus had brought them together under the same roof, calling them brothers and sisters.
The problem? They did not always agree. They were arguing about food. They were arguing about which days were important. Their differences were beginning to threaten their unity.
Does This Sound Familiar?
The issues may look different today, but the human heart has not changed much in over 2,000 years. We may not be debating kosher food, but we still argue about music preferences, how church should be done, which Bible translation to use, how to raise kids, and what traditions matter most.
And here is where it gets dangerous. A preference can slowly become a conviction. A conviction, if we are not careful, can become judgment. Before long, we stop saying "I prefer this" and start saying "if you were really mature, you would prefer this too."
We begin to confuse our preferences with God's requirements.
What Did Paul Actually Pray For?
Notice that Paul does not start by giving the church a list of rules for getting along. He starts by praying for them. And what he prays is telling.
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had." - Romans 15:5
He does not pray that they would all agree on everything. He prays that they would have the same attitude toward each other that Jesus had. The issue is not just what we believe. It is how we treat one another when we do not agree.
And Paul acknowledges something important here. You are going to need God's help to live well with people who are not like you.
Unity Does Not Mean Uniformity
This is one of the most important things to understand. The goal is not for everyone in the church to think exactly alike, have the same personality, or come from the same background. If that were the case, we would not be a family. We would be a factory.
God did not save us so we could become copies of one another. He brought different people together around one Savior. And when people who are not naturally the same learn to love and accept one another, God gets the glory. Because without Christ, that kind of unity would simply not be possible.
"So that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." - Romans 15:6
How Did Christ Accept You?
Before we can talk about accepting others, we have to honestly remember how Christ accepted us. Think about your own story. There was a time when you were not walking with God. There were failures, attitudes, and sin. And yet Jesus did not stand at a distance and say, "Get yourself together first, then come to Me."
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8
Not after we cleaned ourselves up. Not after we figured everything out. While we were still sinners. That is the gospel. Jesus did not wait for us to become worthy of His grace. His grace came looking for us.
If we forget how we got into the family of God, we will start acting like we are the ones who decide who gets in. None of us got here because we were good enough. We got here because Jesus extended grace to us.
What Christian Acceptance Actually Means (and What It Does Not)
Acceptance does not mean we agree with everything. It does not mean truth does not matter. It does not mean we stop calling sin what it is or abandon biblical conviction.
What it does mean is this: you can make room for someone without requiring them to become like you or do things exactly the way you do them.
You can disagree with someone and still love them. You can have a different opinion and still honor them. You can believe someone needs to grow in an area and still walk patiently with them as they grow, and as you grow too.
Paul is not saying truth does not matter. He is saying not every disagreement is a gospel issue. We sometimes make everything a gospel issue. The call is to learn the difference between what Scripture clearly commands and what we personally prefer.
Three Things to Practice When You Do Not Agree
1. Don't Make Every Disagreement Personal
Someone can disagree with you without being against you. Disagreement and division are not the same thing. You can disagree with someone and still love them, still respect them, still worship beside them, and still say, "I am glad you are my brother. I am glad you are my sister in Christ."
The goal is not to eliminate every disagreement. The goal is to refuse to let every disagreement become a division.
2. Don't Make Your Preferences a Measure of Someone Else's Faithfulness
This is where things get personal. When we take something we personally prefer and turn it into a spiritual standard, we start placing our own convictions on other people. We begin to think, "If you were really a good Christian, you would do it this way."
There is a real difference between "this is what I prefer" and "this is what Scripture requires." One of the marks of Christian maturity is learning to tell the difference. Sometimes the most spiritually mature thing you can do is hold your conviction without making it a weapon.
Do not let your preferences become walls that Jesus never built.
3. Choose the Relationship Over the Argument
Sometimes we do not just want to be heard. We want to win. But Paul gives us a different picture.
"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." - Romans 15:1
Christian maturity sometimes means you do not get your way. There are moments when you could win the argument but you choose the relationship instead. There are moments when you could prove your point but you choose grace. Why? Because Jesus did not come to please Himself. He came to serve us.
Instead of walking into a hard conversation asking "how do I win," ask "how do I love?" Instead of asking "how do I prove I'm right," ask "how do I build this person up?"
The Attitude of Jesus Changes Everything
"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus had." - Philippians 2:5
Jesus did not cling to His rights. He did not demand to be served. He humbled Himself. He served, He gave, He loved. And if that is the attitude He had toward us, that is the attitude we are called to have toward one another.
So who is the person you struggle to accept because they do not see things the way you do? Maybe the question the Holy Spirit is asking today is not "who is right?" but "what would it look like to have the attitude of Jesus toward them?"
What Kind of Church Could We Be?
Imagine a church where people are so transparent about who they are and who they were, and the response is simply: welcome. And then transformation follows. That is the order of the gospel. Welcome first, then change from the inside out.
That is the kind of church Paul is calling us to be. A church where we can disagree without dividing. A church where we can hold convictions without becoming combative. A church where our preferences do not become requirements we place on others.
And when we live that way, something powerful happens. The way we treat one another becomes a witness to the world of what God's love actually looks like.
"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." - Romans 15:7
Life Application
This week, identify one person in your life with whom you have an ongoing disagreement or tension, someone whose preferences, opinions, or way of doing things frustrates you. Instead of trying to win the argument or change their mind, make one intentional move toward them with the attitude of Jesus. That might look like listening without responding, extending a kind word, or simply letting go of the need to be right.
Ask yourself these questions as you reflect:
Am I confusing my personal preferences with what God actually requires? Where might I be placing burdens on others that Jesus never intended?
Is there a relationship in my life where I have been choosing the argument over the person? What would it look like to choose the relationship instead?
When I think about how Christ accepted me, does that change the way I feel about accepting someone who is different from me or who I disagree with?
Am I walking into difficult conversations asking "how do I win" or "how do I love"?
Unity in the body of Christ does not require everyone to be the same. It requires all of us to carry the same attitude that Jesus had toward us and extend it freely to one another. That is what brings praise to God.
-Thoughts from our Senior Pastor, Cesar Arocha. Cesar is a native of Venezuela who came to know Christ at 16. He served many years as an evangelist with Team Impact sharing Christ through physical strength. Now he serves as Senior Pastor at Dallas Bay Church in Hixson, TN (north of Chattanooga, TN) with his wife Lacey and their four children. Cesar is passionate about sharing Jesus, walking alongside Christians as they grow in their faith, and caring for our community.
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